Husband Threatens Divorce, Does Divorce Fall?

Before talking further about the threat of divorce or divorce, of course it must be seen first how the nature of the threat itself. After that, only to see whether the threat of divorce can drop divorce or not.

According to the Big Indonesian Dictionary (2019), the word threatening means (1) stating the intention, intention, or plan to do something that is harmful, difficult, troublesome, dangerous, harmful to other parties; (2) giving a signal or warning about the possibility of a disaster that will occur.

From the above definition, it can be concluded that threatening is conveying something that will harm others, whether required by an event or not. But clearly something that was threatened had not been done. It may or may not be done, depending on the party who is threatening and the case required. It may be that, if only to frighten, the threat is not realized even though something required has happened. It is different if the threat is the peak of anger. The threat is really carried out by the threater if the required case has occurred. In other words, the threat is essentially conveying something that will be done: it might be done, maybe not.

Therefore, unconditional threats such as the phrase, "I slap you!" can be interpreted, "I'll slap you!" While the slapping activity has not been done. Maybe done, maybe not. Likewise, the threat required, "If you come home again tonight, I'll slap you!" can also be interpreted "If you come home again tonight, I'll slap you!"

If the object of the threat is to say it is to frighten the party who is threatened so as not to come home again tonight, he usually does not slap him even though he is threatened to go home at night. Different if he said that as the peak of his frustration, of course he really slapped him if the threatened threatened to go home at night. As a result, whether or not a threat materializes, it returns to the threater.

The question is, what about a husband's words to his wife, "If you put that man back in the house, I will divorce you!" Can he drop divorce? The answer, if it is a threat, certainly does not fall. Likewise, the person who threatened to slap earlier. People who are threatened are not automatically slapped just because the threater says that. Because, the threat of divorce above can be interpreted, "If you put that man back into the house, I will divorce you!" Especially if the purpose of the threat is merely to frighten and not intend to drop divorce, the husband does not divorce even though the wife is right to put the man back into the house. Excluded if the expression is the height of anger, he really divorced after it was known that his wife did it. However, divorce must still be said again, because what was just a threat.

As a result, the threat is an expression that refers to actions carried out in the future, so that the word will be inserted. In Arabic, one of the verbs that can be inserted into a word is fiil mudhari (in English: present continuous or present future tense, red). While the expression of talak with fiil mudhari is not considered to be falling, as follows:

ألفاظ صريحة: وهي الألفاظ الموضوعة له, التي لا تحتمل غيره, وهي لفظ الطلاق وما تصرف منه, من فعل ماض, مثل: طلقتك, أو اسم فاعل, مثل: أنت طالق, أو اسم مفعول, مثل: أنت مطلقة. فهذه الألفاظ تدل على إيقاع الطلاق ، دون الفعل المضارع أو الأمر ، مثل: تطلقين واطلقي.

It means: "Sharih (firm) expressions are expressions made for the purpose of dropping divorce, where it has no meaning other than the meaning of divorce. The phrase sharih is an expression that contains the word divorce itself, fi‘il madhi derived from that word, like the expression thallaqtuki (I [have] barked / divorced you); isim fiil means maf‘ul, such as anti thaliq (You [have] been tamed); or ism maf‘ul, like anti muthallaqah (you [have] been barred). All of these expressions show the fall of divorce. But excluded the word talak in the form of fi'il mudhari such as tathluqin (You will be controlled), and fiil amr like Uthluqi (divorce you!) "(Al-Fiqh al-Muyassar fi Dhau al-Kitab wa al-Sunnah, [Medina: Majma Malik Fahd], 1424, volume 1, p. 313).

In fact, the threats that are actually manifested are expressed in the mudhari fiil. For example the threat of Qabil to kill Abel.

قَالَ لأَقْتُلَنَّكَ قَالَ إِنَّمَا يَتَقَبَّلُ اللَّهُ مِنَ الْمُتَّقِينَ

"Qabil said, 'I will really kill you!' Abel answered, 'Verily, Allah only accepts (sacrifices) those who fear Allah', "(QS al-Mai'dah [5]: 27).

This means that the threat is not to drop divorce. Because, the threat contains the meaning of mustaqbal (future) which is usually expressed by fiil mudhari. Meanwhile, the mudhari document is not an editor dropping divorce.

At a glance, the phrase "I divorced you!" or "If you put the man back in the house, I will divorce you!" like the phrase sharih. Whereas the phrase sharih is punished even if it is not accompanied by intention. However, due to differences in the Arabic language system and the Indonesian language system, both of them look the same. In fact, if the intention is as a threat, it should read, "I'll catch you!" as a threat in Arabic which is expressed in fi mudhari. Unfortunately, in spoken language, words will often be missed.

Then, if you want to be considered a sharih expression, it must say, "I [have] divorced you." However, in spoken language, words have often been missed, and the word divorce is abbreviated to divorce. So it is also not wrong if someone says that this expression is like a kinayah expression that divorce does not fall if without intention, because it contains several possible meanings

Therefore, if the phrase wants to be a sharih expression, it should read, "I drop the divorce on you if you put the man back into the house," a sign of threatening or questioning. The difficulty is that spoken language can be drawn to other meanings according to its intonation. For example, "If you do that again, I will divorce you!" (ending with an exclamation mark as a sign of a threat). Or, "If you do that again, I will divorce you." (ending with a period, so that similar to the sharih expression, "I divorce you."). Or, "If you do that again, will I divorce you?" (ending with a question mark, so as not to drop divorce).

But, not a few people who think that the phrase "If you do it again, I divorced you!" This is an expression of divorce ta'liq sharih, namely divorce that is required or hung down on other cases. This is due to the similarity above, as explained earlier.

But this is the opinion we can choose at the moment in the midst of the many people who easily spit out the threat of divorce. Because, if the threat of divorce is considered to drop divorce, how many people have fallen divorce. In fact, most of them actually just save the threatening motive alias scare, not really planning to get a divorce.

It's just as a form of caution, so out of the opinion of people who say the phrase "I divorced you!" this is an expression of sharih, then the husband should be more wise and wise in saying the words divorce or divorce. Because, in matters of marriage, divorce, and reconciliation, joking or even joking is considered seriaus (HR Ibnu Majah).

Similarly, the divorce of people who are angry:

واتفقوا على وقوع طلاق الغضبان وإن ادعى زوال شعوره بالغضب

That is, "The scholars agree on the fall of divorce of people who are angry, even though he claimed to lose consciousness due to his anger" (Sheikh Zainuddin al-Maibari, Fathul Mu‘in, (Issue: Daru Ihya al-Pole, p. 112).

The argument for the threat of divorce is not to drop divorce is the verses of the Qur'an about the threat of God. With His glory and mercy, God is not obliged to drop the case that He threatened. And it is not a flaw, nor is it a lie to Him when He does not manifest His threat.

Unlike the case with promises. Allah certainly fulfills His promise, "Verily, Allah does not violate promises," (QS Ali ‘Imran [3]: 9); "(As) the true promise of Allah. Allah will not break His promises, but most people do not know, "(QS al-Rum [30]: 6).

That is, He will give goodness to those He wants, He will give heaven's reward to the believers, according to the promises that have been delivered through the oral prophet or His book. Therefore, we must not assume that God will violate promises.

It also does not contradict the Qur'anic verse which states, Decisions on My side cannot be changed and I do not persecute My servants, (QS Qaf [50]: 29).

The above verse concludes that what is forbidden is to change decisions about threats to unbelievers or about those whom Allah wants not to be forgiven. (See: Dr. ‘Ali Jumu‘ah,‘ Aqidah Ahl al-Sunnah [Cairo Darul Maqtham], 2011, cet fifth, p. 31).

Ustadz M. Tatam Wijaya, PP Raudhatul Hafizhiyyah Sukaraja-Sukabumi Alumni, Caregiver of Taklim Assembly "Syubbanul Muttaqin" Sukanagara-Cianjur, West Java.

Source: https://islam.nu.or.id