Here's Gluing It When The Family Almost Cracks

In family relationships, various problems often arise. This includes situations or difficult times in the midst of the never ending Covid-19 pandemic. One of the reasons is because of the division of roles which seems to be borne by only one party. Moreover, the problem of the division of roles was only thought of cognitively without principles.

The Nahdlatul Ulama Family Welfare Institute has a maslahah family building concept that must be the basis for family relationships to survive, in all conditions. The maslahah family building has various principles ranging from the foundation, pillars, walls, to the roof.

Secretary of LKKNU Alissa Wahid said, the foundation of the maslahah family consists of three principles, namely muadalah (justice), mubadalah (annoyance), and muwazanah (balance). Then there are five pillars that must be upright, namely the perspective of zawaj, mitsaqan ghalidhzan, mu'asyarah bil ma'ruf, deliberation, and taradhin.

If the pillars are upright, the walls of the maslahah family building can create an atmosphere of a soul that is sakinah (reassuring), mawaddah (full of love), and rahmah (affection). While the roof of the building is the principle of benefit.

"We focus on finding a family foundation, a value framework, and principles that must be used. Because that is what will help us to make better decisions," said Alissa in a discussion entitled Feeling the Role of Family in the Pandemic Era.

According to him, if one of the parties in the family relationship or a married couple likes to get angry because they feel burdened, then it can be ascertained that the pillars with the mu'asyarah bil ma'ruf perspective (on good terms) have begun to crack. Not only that, the principle of muwazanah (balance) means that it is not firmly planted as a foundation of values in building a family. Then the principle of taradhin (willingness) has also not gone well.

Tips for dealing with family relationships that have begun to fracture Alissa Wahid provides tips for being able to reattach a family relationship or a married couple that is almost fractured. He reminded, everyone who gets married must start with a good intention. Married with very bright hopes.

Therefore, the first thing that must be done to reconnect a family relationship that has begun to break is to remember the first time you started the journey of family life.

"In the past (it started) with a passionate spirit full of love, it was held first. Maybe now the love doesn't feel like it. But it was held first that marriage begins with love," explained the eldest daughter of KH Abdurrahman Wahid or Gus Dur.

That is, whatever is done by a partner and feels burdensome can not be due to evil intentions, so that it aims to hurt by being unfair. However, it could be because there is something 'off' from a family relationship journey.

Reporter: Aru Lego Triono Editor: Kendi Setiawan

Source: https://www.nu.or.id/post/read/124551/kel Keluarga-hampir-retak--begini-merekatkannya